


My Heart is Dead (I’m Such a Fool)

by mychemicallyromance



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, F/F, F/M, First Time, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 03:04:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16945779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicallyromance/pseuds/mychemicallyromance
Summary: It wasn’t on purpose, but when was love ever on purpose? Who falls in love on purpose? The start was odd. Illegal. It was a thrill to love the other man.





	My Heart is Dead (I’m Such a Fool)

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ THIS!!!
> 
> I want to say this is different than anything that I've ever written. It's not going to involve any rape or anything of that nature, however, there is a major age difference. No I did not get this idea from The Dove Keeper, or any other story that has a major age difference. I got this idea from an episode of Law & Order: SVU (shh, it's my favorite show). 
> 
> Gerard is 30 years older than Frank, and yes, Frank is underage -- as warned in the tags, so please do not comment saying that it's disgusting or whatever, because I did set multiple warnings. This is something that I've been wanting to write for awhile, and it's different than what I've written. I like age gaps, in stories. I do not condone this in real life, at all. Because of Gerard's age in this story, I do need to warn that he is 46. Frank is 16.
> 
> Give it a chance if it doesn't trigger you; tell me what you think of it -- if you do read it! not to leave hate!
> 
> Thank you :)

It was in the summer when everything first started. It wasn’t on purpose, but when was love ever on purpose? Who falls in love on purpose? The start was odd. _Illegal_. It was a thrill to love the other man. They needed each other. It was his first love. The flowers came often, they were replaced quickly before the others could die. There was a metaphor for those flowers. Frank kept it in his heart; in his head. Frank wondered how he fell so fast for the other man. How could a chat room start love? How could it be so easy to find your significant other? There were so many questions that ran through Frank’s young mind.

Frank’s age made it illegal. It was a new experience to be with someone. The older man gave him everything that Frank wanted or needed. Frank knew he was pretty loaded, and he didn’t mind spoiling Frank.

 

_Say you want my love and I believe you_

_But every look you give, it’s like I’m see-through_

_Show me that you want me like I need you_

_And I need you_

 

 

XXX

 

Frank heard his phone chirp so he immediately reached for it. He knew that it was his _boyfriend_ ; it was so odd to call someone that name. Frank was a freshly turned sixteen-year-old virgin who had never felt love, or a crush, or had a relationship. Frank wasn’t really a people person, which made him stick to himself rather than being social like any other teenager. He didn’t even have anyone to sit by at lunch. He honestly didn’t mind because he hated being watched or talked to while he ate his food.

His mom homeschooled him up until 8th grade because she had the time and money, until her and Frank’s father divorced. She ended up picking up a lot of shifts, and sometimes working doubles, to make sure she had money to pay rent and have food in the house. There wasn’t much, but Frank kept the computer that his online school has given him, and his parents had let him get a phone for Christmas last year. His parents weren’t on good terms unless it came to Frank because they wanted to make sure they could give him what he needed; clothes, a phone in case of an emergency, internet for school assignments.

However, they didn’t know what he did on his electronics. They didn’t know about his… _boyfriend_. The word made Frank feel so giddy; like a school girl. His parents didn’t know he was gay, and Frank had no plans on telling them until he was of legal age to introduce Gerard. Frank wanted to be with Gerard for the rest of his life. The older man made him believe in love despite his parents’ divorce. His parents were together for 15 years…they were college sweethearts, fell pregnant with Frank at a young age, and didn’t get married until they were 22. They were young when they fell in love, but not as young as Frank which was why he kept this big secret. He and his dad were pretty close; told each other everything, but Frank couldn’t tell anyone this. Not even his dad who was his best, and only, friend.

 _Hello Sweetheart,_ the message read. It flushed Frank’s cheeks, making him red as a tomato. It made his stomach flutter as well when Gerard would give him pet names. _How are you?,_ another message said.

 _ **Good**_ , Frank texted back. _**What about you?**_

 _Good, now that I’m talking to you,_ the new text said. A picture came through of Gerard’s face. He was wearing a suit and tie as always; he liked to dress up when sending pictures. Frank wondered if he wore jammies when they didn’t send pictures. Or… if he —. Frank didn’t want to think about Gerard just that way yet.

Frank giggles. _**I wish we could see each other.**_

They never seen each other before, but they sent pictures or had video chats when Frank was alone. That was 80% of the time. Frank told Gerard everything; his parents, his childhood, his dreams. Everything. Gerard would also tell him what he did in life and, sometimes, about his personal life. Frank was more of the talkative one throughout the day, but that was because he loved Gerard so much. He hoped that one day he and Gerard would meet, go on a date.

 _I know, sweetheart. We will eventually._ Frank couldn’t help but whine at Gerard’s text.

 _ **I just want to be in your arms, kiss your lips. I’ve never felt this way towards anyone,**_ Frank texted back. _**When can we? You know how much you mean to me. I don’t care that you’re older than me. There are so many excuses that I could tell people. Let’s meet at a park. Or something.**_

There was a big gap between text messages. Frank’s heart was beating, wanted to jump out of his chest. But then the dim screen lit up with a new message. _I don’t know, baby,_ Gerard’s text read. _Is it even a good idea? People will get the wrong idea. Can you even drive?_

Frank sighed. Gerard was right. People could get the wrong idea in many ways than one. Frank could lie and say it was his father, but there wasn’t any resemblance. At all. Could people fall for it? What about if they went to a diner? Frank sighed again and began to type his message.

 _ **No, but I could walk to a diner or a park. We could eat together, or something... My mom occasionally gives me an allowance or money when I’m alone to order pizza. Please, Gee?**_ Frank texted back. _**I just want to meet you so bad… We’ve been together for awhile now.**_

 _I know. How about this… Saturday at 2, if your mom is okay with that. Or if she’s working. Also, I’m not letting you pay for your meal. That would be rude of me, so let me buy your meal,_ the text read.

 

XXX

 

Saturday came faster than Frank expected. Luckily, his mom was working a double. That meant she slept at the hospital, didn’t come home until the next day. It gave Frank time to be with Gerard. There weren’t going to be questions asked either because his mom wouldn’t know. His mom wasn’t able to text either, and the time between shifts, she slept. The only way Frank knew she cared was by the money she struggled to provide with her job, but she made sure Frank had food.

Frank walked with wobbling legs to the diner that was a a few blocks away. It was getting cold, but the way he felt was enough for him to ignore the freezing temperature. It was Frank’s absolute worse season because he got sick quite easily. He hoped that he wasn’t going to get sick.

Frank really wanted to learn how to drive. Maybe he should have asked his father rather than waiting for his mom to help him. His mom was always too busy to help with him almost everything. Frank wasn’t able to ask for help on difficult questions on his homework, or when he needed a study partner for science. He struggled a lot with science.

When he finally made it to the diner, he walked inside, immediately getting greeted by the hostess. She was a chubby, young looking, woman. Frank wasn’t paying too much attention as he looked around the small dinner to try and find the older man.

He was startled when there was a hand gently gripping his shoulder. Frank turned around, and smiled. Frank was so nervous that he shook.

The hostess cleared her throat. “A table for two?” she asked, getting their attention.

“Yes, ma’am,” Gerard said smoothly as he nodded.

“Booth or table?” the hostess questioned, eyed the man.

“Either is fine.” Gerard had shrugged, following her as she searched for a booth.

She sat them in a booth that was near the window, rolled down the blinds so it wasn’t too blindingly. “Your waiter will be here soon.”

“I’m quite shocked that we’re finally meeting,” Gerard said, as he folded his hands together on top of the table. “I know it’s my stubbornness that prevented us, but we have to be cautious. I hope you do understand that.”

“I-I do,” Frank stuttered, he swallowed thickly as the nerves had gotten to him. “I just…I like you so much. I understand that you’re older than me —”

“That is an understatement, sweetheart. I’m old enough to be your father, or even older. How old is your father, Frank?”

“Thirty-six,” Frank mumbled as he looked down at his the menu that had already been on the table. “My parents were young when they had me.”

Before Gerard could’ve said something, the waitress walked over to them. Her notebook and pen were poised, ready to write their order. She smiled and greeted them.

“What can I get you guys today?” she asked. “Our special of the day is our potato soup, or even tomato soup.”

“Go ahead and order, Frank,” Gerard said, eyed the boy across from him.

“I…I’ll have the potato soup, please. A-and I’ll have sweet tea to drink,” Frank said, his nerves got to him as he wasn’t used to talking to a lot of people, or being in public places aside from school.

“Alright, sweetie,” she said, then moved onto Gerard. She popped her gum before she said, “And you?”

“I’ll have eggs and toast. As for the drink, may I have black coffee?” Gerard asked as he slowly placed his menu back in the bin on the table.

“Sure thing,” she drawled out, and clicked her pin before she headed towards the back.

Gerard resumed their conversation. “Frank, I’m _ten_ years older than your father, and you don’t even care, do you?”

“I never did because I want to be with you…,” Frank mumbled, sighed sadly. “I-I don’t care that you’re 30 years older than me either, so please don’t bring that up. It’ll make me wonder if you even want to be with me.”

“Sweetheart, don’t play that card. I just want to be careful because this world is cruel. People could get the wrong idea. They could think I’m a pedophile, when I am _far_ from it. I had never fallen for a minor, ever. However, I knew you were different,” Gerard whispered even though there wasn’t anyone near them.

“There was just something that drew me to you,” Gerard continued, he shook his head. “Maybe it’s because you remind me of my youth. I don’t know, Frank, but I do know that I am _not_ a pedophile. You know, in other countries there are laws that say a sixteen-year-old is an adult.”

“I know. I know that you’re not a pedophile, and that the world is so unfair. What’s so different than be dating you when I’m 18, rather than now? We haven’t…you know, or anything. So…so there’s nothing wrong with this. I want to kiss you, right now, but I know better,” Frank told the older man. He wished he could feel the lips of the other man.

“I know you do, honey, but not in public.”

Their conversation had gone on for awhile that they didn’t realize their food was on the way, startled them into being quiet when the waitress walked towards them. They thanked the waitress for her services.

Frank and Gerard had become silent as they had ate and sipped their drink. Frank covered his mouth as he ate slowly and tried to not feel embarrassed. He did not know why he was so embarrassed to eat in front of someone. He even covered his mouth when he’d eat near one of his parents.

After they finished their meal and the waitress gathered their dishes, and let them rest before she handed them their check. Gerard grasped it before Frank could even see it. Frank knew that Gerard could sense that he was uncomfortable with the fact that Gerard was going to be the one who paid for the meal.

“Let’s go, pumpkin,” Gerard said, as he walked in front of the younger boy after paying for the meal. Luckily for them, no one questioned or eyed them weirdly.

When they walked outside, Frank immediately started to shiver because of the sudden cold where as the diner had been warm. Frank sighed, looking at his breath.

“If I can see my breath, it’s too damn cold,” Frank joked slightly, then rolled his eyes. “I hate winter.”

“I do, too.” Gerard zipped up his coat, pulling out a cigarette from his pack that was stuffed deeply in his pocket.

Frank didn’t like that Gerard smoked, but he wasn’t the one to tell someone what to do with their body. The smell and smoke irritated his lungs easily, but that was one thing he hadn’t told Gerard just yet. However, Gerard looked so calm as he smoked his cigarette. It was weirdly attractive, Frank thought.

Gerard pulled the cigarette from between his lips. “I’m sorry, Frank,” he apologized for no reason. “I understand you must be freezing. Would you like my coat?”

“No, thank you.” Frank shook his head and offered Gerard a genuine smile. “I should —” he started but Gerard interrupted him.

“When does your mother get home?” Gerard asked, placing the cigarette between his lips again.

“I-I’m not too sure. Probably sometime tomorrow.” Frank sighed, wondered why Gerard had asked that question. “Why?”

“I’m going to drive you home,” Gerard said, said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s too cold for you to walk home. I would have offered, but I didn’t want you getting in a car with someone you hadn’t met yet. Especially an _older_ man.”

“It’s only a 10 or so minute walk,” Frank protested.

“Okay, and?”

“I’ll be fine. It’s okay.” Frank zipped his coat up, putting the hood over his head. “I’ll text you when I get home. Maybe we can video call?”

“Okay, if you’re sure. I don’t want to pressure you with anything, Frankie.”

“Thank you.”

 


End file.
